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Life as a Wife: Taxidermy Turned Chic?

My husband wants to hang a deer head on our wall. I want nothing to do with it.

It’s currently sitting on our basement floor waiting to be mounted. It’s terrifying me. Haunting me. Hating me. I’m mad at whoever invented taxidermy.

Here’s the backstory: my husband went hunting last year and excitedly came home to say it was a successful trip. I didn’t ask for details. Fast forward nine months— a large box arrives at our front door. Could it be clothes? A dozen pairs of shoes? Perhaps a surprise flower delivery? Nope. Deer head. It scared the $#!& out of me.

Then, I started dreaming about it. Did this guy have friends? A family? A comfy house in the woods? There’s been a lot of back and forth on what to do with it. A lot of marital debate. A lot of googling. How do I make a deer head look chic? Etsy had some ideas. Painting its antlers gold. Sprinkling them with glitter. Adorning them with lace and pearls.

Photo via Etsy/WallCharmers

Photo via Etsy/WallCharmers

Photo via Etsy/WallCharmers

As you can imagine, my husband wants nothing to do with my stylish suggestions. Instead, he wants a deer head. A manly deer head for his manly man cave.

Post-tantrum— think stomping stilettos— I decided to be a rational wife. I considered every flowery pillow we have. Every Chanel coffee table book in our home. Every shoe and lipgloss and handbag that often clutters our floors. And I settled. The deer head can go up.

But I still want to dip its antlers in glitter.

 

Faux taxidermy pieces seen above are from Etsy, via Wall Charmers