Looking Back on 2017 | My Best Year Ever
Happy almost 2018! I am so excited to be spending it at home this year for the first time in years. Jake and I are cozy cozy cozy at home with our boy, and it feels really calming.
This year has been so beautiful, so tiring, so euphoric, so challenging. Everything in my life dramatically changed over the last 12 months, and yet I feel more at home with myself than ever before.
In becoming a mother, I have more perspective, more empathy, and more patience. I am more efficient with my work. I am able to make choices with a clearer mind. I give my time to the people and things that are most important to me. I accept help and I am more open to change.
I am also tired. And usually worried. Because let’s be honest, moms are always worried about their babies. It comes with the job.
Somehow in the midst of the exhaustion, I birthed another baby: Summer Fridays. Marianna Hewitt and I created a line of clean face masks, set to officially launch early next year. Women’s Wear Daily announced it earlier this month, and we are so proud to bring this to the world (for YOU!) to indulge in.
I’m not exactly sure how I balanced that with a newborn baby. Actually, I’m positive I didn’t balance it at all. I nursed during conference calls. I pumped in bathrooms and boardrooms and on flights. I cried when I left Evan for a day. I also cried when I missed a meeting because of Evan. Sometimes I felt like I failed at work. And sometimes I felt like I failed at motherhood. Because we can’t really do it all, but we can do it all imperfectly. With an army of help (and a glass of wine), anything is possible, and I am infinitely grateful for my family and our sitters who kept me sane while spoiling my boy with love. Also, my husband is a rockstar dad who supports me in everything I do. He continues to be so much better than any expectations I ever had.
2017 was really beautiful. Thank you for experiencing it with me. Truly, I cannot tell you how much YOU have guided me in this journey. To hear your supportive comments on Instagram, to read your personal messages about your own triumphs (and struggles) of new motherhood, to see how so many of you have told me how inspired you feel to go after a career and a family you love… it has inspired ME so much, and I am grateful.
Here’s a look at my favorite moments of 2017…
Dear baby, you have always been a part of me. Part of my hopes, my dreams, my plans. Part of every journal I’ve kept, every discussion I’ve had with God, every glance I’ve shared with your father.
But this trip, we watched sunsets with our hands on my belly, feeling every kick. We kayaked (literally!) alongside families of turtles. And we blissfully dreamed of the day we’d bring our baby back.
My body has stretched, and grown, and evolved in ways I didn’t know were possible. I have the curves of creating life.
Meeting him marked the most life-changing moment, and yet, it felt like nothing had changed at all — like he had always been here with us. The minutes after his arrival were calming, as though he was telling us… ‘I’m home.’
Motherhood is every feeling. It is blissful, and beautiful, and hard, and terrifying. But mostly, it is love.
…And there I was, with this beautiful boy listening to the water that raised me. I felt infinitely grateful.
I know the joy of life is found settled into quiet moments that I’ll easily miss if I’m not present — morning coffee with my husband, quiet stroller walks with my boy, and little victories in my career no one will really celebrate but me.
MERRY 2017… AND HAPPY 2018! xxxx