Stop Looking For Your Other Half

Simone and Martin Photography

I’m a giddy newlywed who adores my husband. But you’ll never catch me calling him my “other half.”

For years, though, storybooks and pop songs and the Chris Harrisons’ of the world groomed me to think a future partner would somehow complete me.

I used to love watching TLC’s A Wedding Story. Remember that show? It was my favorite. As you can imagine, the term “other half” was thrown out all the time. Nineties brides would preach to the camera over how they’d found a part of them that had been missing.

After I got married, friends, colleagues, even strangers often would comment on how we are now “complete.” Here’s the thing, though — we were individually complete before we met, before we dated, before we married. And that’s why our relationship works.

There’s a strong sense of self we each have. I think that’s what drew us to one another. And I think it’s what keeps us together. I don’t expect my husband to calm every anxiety of mine, and he doesn’t expect I heal every wound of his.

Yes, we are a team (we mastered that in beer pong). And the strongest teams are made up of strong individuals.

Of course, we are happier together. We are more talented together. And our meals are a lot tastier together (thanks to him). That togetherness is what’s so beautiful about love and relationships and marriage. And I think to find it, you have to first find yourself.

Be with someone who adores your individuality. Who brags about your quirks. Who appreciates your stubbornness.

Be with someone who supports your passions. Who pushes you to take risks. Who encourages you to love harder.

Be with someone who knows you, alone, are enough.