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Loving the Process over the Plan

If only we all had a crystal ball. The planner in me would love it. I’ve told you before, spontaneity is not my thing.

So, perhaps it won’t surprise you I had once wished a psychic could lay out my relationship for me. My now-husband and I met as college teens and spent much of our relationship on different ends of the country. My mind would wander with uncertainty. Where will we go post-college? What career will he choose? When will he propose?!

A successful relationship is based on a mutual desire to tackle life’s changes together.

It’s only natural to desire certainty. But demanding answers is a dangerous game we play with ourselves, our partners and with God. Truth is—life is loaded with changed plans and failed promises. Just when we think we’ve got everything figured out, the universe throws us an unwelcome curve ball. It’s those curve balls that matter most. That’s what really drives a relationship. No crystal ball needed.

A lot of plans my husband and I once made have drastically changed. And a lot of plans we’re making now will take turns we’re unprepared for. We know that. We’re okay with that. We didn’t marry the plan— we married the person.

For those of you in love, looking for love, or even dreaming of it, know this: careers will change. Salaries will fluctuate. Frustrations will mount. A successful relationship is based on a mutual desire to tackle life’s changes together. You’ll never be handed a calendar mapping out your future. Have fun with the plan, the proposal and the perfect ring, but recognize the process is what matters most.