Dear 2018 | My Best Year Ever

Dear 2018,

You changed me.

You made me laugh and you made me cry. You made me proud and you made me scared.

You gave me superhero powers that I never knew I had. You also reminded me that even superheroes need to sleep sometimes.

This was by far my most transformative year of my life, and it opened my eyes, my heart, and my mind to lenses I could not have envisioned before now.

I prayed more than ever before. I said a lot of ‘thank you’s’ and ‘I love you’s’ and ‘I cannot believe it’s.’ I started to really understand my path — past and present — and how life is so full of surprises that are indeed intentional and purposeful. Decisions that I made a decade ago started to appear in new ways this year. All the work I did, all the jobs I held, all the “yes’s” and all the “no’s” I had received until now suddenly made sense. A lot of those prayers I had thought God left unanswered came back, with more clarity and “aha!” moments.

I fell in love with myself, with my husband, and with my son in new ways this year. My heart grew new chambers and I laughed until my cheeks turned sore.

2018 taught me I could be a mom, and a colleague, and a boss, and a wife, and a friend and a daughter and a dreamer and a doer. Yes, I can be all of those things, imperfectly and in complete imbalance, and with the help of my giant village. I learned how to ask for help and forgiveness, while also forgiving myself when I fell short at one of those roles.

I learned the real importance of marrying someone who genuinely challenges you to be the best, most capable version of yourself. It’s easy to say all of those things, but it’s a lot harder to actually stand by someone as you climb mountains that require the entire family to cheer you on, to endure sleepless nights, to high-five you when you succeed, and to continue cheering you on even when it means sacrificing something of their own. For that, I am eternally grateful.

If you’ve been following along with me as this year unfolded, you know it was a big one…

I heard the sound of my baby’s feet pattering across our floors for the first time.

I hopped on a plane to launch what would become one of the biggest parts of my year.

My partner, Marianna Hewitt, and I introduced our skincare line to you.

Summer Fridays sold out at Sephora. Several times over. We were blown away.

We landed in Vogue, and Good Morning America, and CBS This Morning.

I cried when my milk dropped, and I had to give my son formula for the first time at nine months.

I cried again when I finally allowed myself enough room to breath, and to take care of myself. I am only as strong as my health.

I continued breastfeeding through 14 months.

I heard the words “mama” for the first time.

Summer Fridays launched in Canada.

We became a top selling skincare brand at Sephora.

I was on the cover of a magazine.

I dipped my baby’s toes into the Pacific Ocean, and into Lake Michigan, and into an infinite number of pools and puddles after a long rainfall.

We went on coffee dates together. Latte for me, almond milk for him.

I watched my baby blow out his first candles.

I kissed my son approximately 1,235,340 times.

Summer Fridays launched in the UK.

I traveled to New York several times over.

I pumped in airports and in ubers and in cold stairways in the back of restaurants.

I cried when TSA unintentionally dropped a bag of my breast milk.

Summer Fridays launched in all Sephora stores across the US + Canada.

I celebrated five years of marriage with Jake.

We renewed our vows on the beach in Malibu with our baby by our side.

I fell in love all over again, in a new way, with a different lens.

Summer Fridays launched its second product.

We spent our first marketing dollars on a partnership with Alfred coffee.

Which meant more coffee dates for me and Ev.

I did a lot of mama workouts with my boy by my side.

I wrote letters to my son.

I practiced more yoga and meditation than ever before.

I asked my friends and family to forgive me, and to stand by me, while I navigated one of the busiest years of my life.

Summer Fridays launched in Australia.

My son said “I love you” for the first time.

We picked apples in my husband’s hometown, went boating in my hometown, and created new traditions in our son’s hometown.

We put our boy on skis for the first time.

We sipped on hot chocolate and ate non-organic cookies together.

I made my son his first kale smoothie and my husband taught him how to get him a beer from the fridge… #parentingWINS.

Summer Fridays did its first ever collaboration with OUAI haircare.

It’s on sale at Sephora right now.

I watched my son give Frosty knuckles in Aspen.

Bubble wrap and cookies became the answer to all of my parenting problems.

I cried tears of “OMG’s” (because how can life be this good?)

I said thank you. Over and over and over again.

Thank you, 2018. Indeed, you changed me.

2019, I am ready for the joy, the tears, and the lessons you will bring me.